Managing The Emotional Environment

Managing the behavioral environment is seen in daycare and other institutionalized environments. There is a structure, a set of processes and routines that get set up in such a way that results with the best possible outcome. People working together know the structure, can self regulate their behaviors within the expectations, and communicate in a united field of expectations. Now take that idea and apply it to the unseen arena of emotional projection, transference, bullying, shut- down or withdrawn behaviors and then there is this whole other awareness to work within.

Managing the emotional environment. You can learn to anchor, ground yourself so that, like a duck- water can run off of your back. What is not your emotion to manage you do not engage with. Just like the duck, there is a Spiritual immunity system that comes into play: the oil in the duck feathers create a boundary so that the water does not penetrate and effect the body temperature or condition of the duck. It can remain in cold water and not get iced up.

Create your filters: working with your own energy in a mindful way. Learning to observe, catch yourself and redirect your own thoughts helps you to be your own best friend. Change is an inside job. What is the internal conflict? How does your unresolved past issue show up in behaviour now? How do you integrate past, present, future? How do you bring compassion and forgiveness into your own life?

Within your body: manage the self talk. This tool can be used for self awareness and deep tissue healing within your body. Learning to listen to your own body sensations and body language you better read what your intuition is telling you.

Part of Emotional, Spiritual, Mental and Physical balance is to be able to refuel your body with energy that nourishes all of your systems. rest, nutrition, meditation. You also need to recognize toxic energy and either shift it or remove yourself from it.

In working with other people’s energy; You do not take on other people’s emotions as a statement about yourself. When you have learned how to work with, redirect, choose your own healthy self care; then you can use tools to boundary set. When you can separate your issues from other people’s issues, you can then use your power to clean up attitudes and choose behaviors with great outcomes.

Mindfulness, meditations, prayer, music, Reiki, martial arts, yoga, tuning into nature, are great ways to work with energy systems that we constantly live in. As a Reiki Master Teacher, Reiki experience and knowledge inform my practice. Heart coherency meditation, Ho Opono Opono, doing proxy healing work, helps with grief and loss. Awareness’s can be a lot of fun and easy to use, and helps manage anxiety and depression symptoms.

Within Families: with awareness of patterns, and energy signatures, you can choose what you want to interact with, and allow into your experience. Using boundaries, assertiveness, you can speak your truth, and redirect projected energies back to the sender. With awareness, you can monitor and screen for acceptable ways to treat family members and to shift the family structure of rules and awareness’s to reflect that. When someone is projecting oppression or scapegoating or simply not dealing with their own crap and expecting others to do damage control for them- you can effectively confront the issues and ask for a shift.

Within Workplaces: oppressive practice, bullying, lateral violence is still so common in many work environments. Both employers and employees need to own their own behaviors and emotions so they can be more capable of dealing with clients or work demands. Having a healthy environment is part of making employees feel safe, productive. When you have a happy, productive staff, you attract more customer satisfaction.

Mindfulness and Energy medicine in the workplace looks like building safety and support into the environment. Do you have times for people to eat their lunches together? Do you have team or employee support? Is the environment safe, relaxing and homey? A healthy way to debrief and acknowledge contributions helps a lot. Depending on the business- having a buddy system to look out for each other helps too. Being aware of emotional energy, attitudes emitted in the workplace is the first step in shifting it- to be beneficial. Awareness of your emotions, others emotions and the impact the emotional experience has in the workplace is so important in a healthy work environment.

Calming The Body and Emotions

Calming the body and emotions is essential to reworking neural pathways in your brain from a primitive knee jerk automatic response to one of choice. We have been in the habit of reacting to our primitive brain, our amygdala, hypothalamus, our instinctual brain. Trauma memories get stored in our amygdala part of the brain, in our cells, in our sensory memories of our experiences. When we put our self regulation on automatic, we often default into negative reactions, amygdala hijacks, triggers of previous traumatic experience.

Mindfulness is when we can be diligent, pay attention, self monitor our thoughts and emotions, our consciousness stream, pay attention to thoughts received and sent. Some of the thoughts are connected to our intuition. When we can focus on our peaceful, or calm, loving thoughts, or even in our excited, eagerness- we can make more room to live in our peace, our bliss. When you can get back to your intention, to what you want to create, to your plan, you are halfway to creating a better outcome. YAY!

A lot of the time, our bodies are “Resting” at a high threshold of adrenaline thumping, cortisol pumping, pseudo alertness. In other words, we haven’t let go of the stress in a day, and have banked it, collecting interest, and adding to the emotional and nervous pressure. The more this pressure builds, the less capacity we have to manage our emotional and body responses to situations. It is like being held hostage to our anger, when we can no longer lower our alertness rate, we can become habituated into an anger response. Long term situations tend to lead to dis-ease, the body breaks down. Anxiety and nervous responses, over reactions become the norm.

Resetting the emotional and anxious responses brings the body back to balance. Deep breathing, slowing the heart beat, meditation, mindfulness- check in with the self talk, activities in nature, moving into music with song or movement or both all are helpful. It is important to be able to let go of anxious energy to exercise and release endorphin’s. Making decisions in a calm deliberate way leads to better outcomes.

Knowing When to Embrace The Inner Child

Through out life, we experience traumatic events. In childhood, we are more vulnerable, have little power, and resign ourselves to not getting our needs met and then try to survive the situation, the best way we can. This can look like watching a family member get beaten up, or directly experiencing the violence. The helplessness and fear experienced in the trauma gets triggered later in life.

Being put into situations that you haven’t been prepared for, or that hurt you, going through severe neglect, or endangerment, can have an effect on your ability to function in future social situations. Without loving support, safety, or personal needs being provided for, a child can feel unloved, unworthy, and fear rejection or more violence when being addressed.

Children can learn to dislike themselves, to put themselves down, to even have contempt for themselves. As the child was treated; the child internalizes the attitudes and values about themselves. This epi-genetic process can become a multi-generational pattern that continues until someone says, “Enough! No more violence!” When one person starts the healing, ripples of compassion, love and forgiveness can begin a new story. Counselling helps you recover from harmful toxic patterns of childhood trauma.

Embracing the inner child is all about making room for safety, dignity, and personal needs to be met, of loving yourself. To love yourself in the past, when you were a child, is to also love yourself in the present. Taking time to listen to your self, self parenting, even a few decades later, is part of healing. Counselling can help you do this, show you how to change your self talk to reflect loving yourself. It is never to late to have a happy childhood, it just looks different.

Play Therapy

Play therapy is available for the childhood experiences that were preverbal, is great for children and adults of childhood trauma. No words are needed to start interacting with the figurines, and start the stories. Art work, music, playing the Tibetan singing bowls, the didgeridoo, the keyboard or setting up the montages, all lead to expression of self. It is powerful to have a witness of the story process validate your human experiences. Attunement to the story process, and the storyteller, allows the feelings of compassion and healing.

When Trauma and Crisis Management is Needed

There are times when life throws you a curve ball. All of us at some point in our lives have been in crisis, where our coping skills are overwhelmed, and we need a lifeline to be able to breathe air again.

In the case of medical crisis, go to the medical teams, and get the first level of need dealt with. When you are ready, you can call up for grief counselling to be able to go through and process the emotions, cipher out the needs, and make a safety plan, choose again.

It is helpful to have someone attend your appointments with you, hear what the doctor’s have to say, ask the questions. A patient is likely in shock, and is probably going to miss a lot of what is said. Note pads, written notes all help. The journey through the medical process can leave a patient feeling powerless as so much control often gets turned over to the experts. When you do speak up, participate in the decisions, it becomes your experience choices again.

During a cancer experience now 8 years ago, I found that I went deep into my resources, found strength I didn’t know I had. The inner journey became a turning point in my life. I am grateful to those precious few who were able to support me. This experience informs my work about the loving compassion and power of forgiveness; the need to let go of the anger in the midst of longstanding lineage trauma stored within the body. Healing crisis can effect entire families and communities. Counselling can help you navigate through all of the emotions and process from your heart.

In the case of violence, extreme domestic issues, go for safety first. Police, emergency needs get met first. When there is time, counselling can help you debrief, and move into normalization. What needs to be different? What do you want to experience? Get to safety first, then you can call for counselling support. There are Women’s shelters for the purpose of short term safety.

When you are ready, call for counselling to explore why you are in a pattern that keeps repeating. What life do you want? In many cases, friends and family can help. When we can build safety into our homes, our communities, everyone benefits.

In the case of addictions, substance abuse, immediate safety needs – have to be put into place. Then you can call for counselling, find out what is available, what you can do. In Kamloops the Phoenix center supervises your detoxing, this can help you feel safe and taken care of. There are treatment programs for gambling, and substance abuse. Counselling with me can help you assess where you are, get into treatment, and do the follow up with you.

In the cases of suicide attempts or concerns, again put safety into place, then call for counselling and support. Hospitalization may be part of the recovery plan. Support teams can be great, and successful.

Extreme poverty and homelessness situations can be helped through ASK Wellness services, the foodbank, the hostel, Emerald House, social services.

When we can turn away from apathy, and reduce or eliminate suffering, the world is indeed a better place.