Empowerment and Leadership Skills

Everybody needs to be in their power at some time in their life. But what does it mean to be in your authentic power versus bullying someone under false pretenses or a false power?

In order to look at empowerment, you have to look at the loss of power, or control and abusive patterns. The 2 aspects fit together to create a pattern and keep it going; the power and control. So, in order to shift the pattern you have to have balance, wisdom, timing, insight to shift the pattern into something more useful, healthier, and more manageable. This is not usually done overnight, rather it is done in steps, as awareness and practice allows. The starting point is to set the intention of being real, connected to your heart, and looking to create what you need.


From the mindfulness perspective, being in your power means to be in the flow, balanced, centered, connected to your heart. When you are operating from your heart, generally decisions are based on wisdom, grounded in reality. Decisions are often intended, reflected upon, and set into action steps as is possible.

In counselling, empowerment is often a process of really listening to the heart of the matter, observing the situation played out, reflecting on it, engaging the intuitive mind, and choosing a course of direction, engagement that is meaningful to experience.

Empowerment can be referred to as an attunement within yourself. Paying attention to your self-talk, your attitudes, your core beliefs, helps you to include the 95% of the unconscious and subconscious thought streams. Often when people have experienced a lot of toxic core beliefs and attitudes, values; they have unconsciously internalized them, and have become numb to them. We operate at about 5% of conscious awareness. That is all! The good news is that we can access the other 95% , with our intention to focus and pay attention.

Empowerment is the process of choosing our preferred outcome, and putting it into action. Stepping into your leadership can be so satisfying and enjoyable when it is balanced power. Counsellng can help you fine tune what you need and desire in your experiences. You can do it. You can be authentically in your power.

Identifying and Working With Emotions

Rage and Anger management are basic in emotional literacy and self- regulation.

How do you know if you are in your personal power, or in abusive use of power? Learn how to read the signals within your body, the context of the situation and to pay attention to the information in the conflict. Learn how to use your awareness of anger without getting swallowed up in a dangerous emotional tsunami, that is out of control and destroying everything. Underneath blind rage is incredible fear. In order to work with the roots of the anger and rage, you have to look at the woundedness, the trauma, the grief and loss that has not been dealt with. Inner child recovery work can help you reclaim who you are at your best. If you feel that is something you need, then call a professional and set up time to work on your anger issues.

All emotions can be put into the categories of Fear or Love. To break it down further: Fear category includes jealousy, fear of loss, shame, guilt and disconnection. Love category includes gratitude, compassion, empathy, joy, happiness, connection. Of course there are many more descriptive emotional words that can be put into each category. Many time emotions are experienced in overlap, and all at once. In order to identify what emotional experiences are going on, you need to be able to observe behaviors, impacts of behaviors, and to be able to choose to manage your experience.

Be Aware of Your Emotional Responses so You Can Manage Them

Rage and Anger. Anger is a learned response, that probably started when you were still in diapers, couldn’t speak well, got frustrated and needed help, or to call on your personal power.

With parental intervention, the teaching, and correction of behaviour- most people can deal with frustration and irritation before it gets to the rage situation. However we have all experienced loss of control, and had freak outs. Sometimes the frustration builds up over a long time of suppression or disregard of emotional information. In some times the tension, irritation overrides the potential to experience peace and calm.

Anger is a Secondary Emotion

This means that there is an underlying issue that is triggering you. When you can identify what the fear is, you are 1/2 way to managing it. When you can identify the emotions you are experiencing, then you can more easily move into the situations you want to create and choose your responses. You can meet the unmet need yourself, do some self- nurturing to bring what is needed to the situation or shift the entire experience to fit you and others better.

There is Conflict in Every Relationship

The goal is to get to the information about the conflict and find solutions to get your needs and other people’s needed in a win/win situation. To many times people repeat the patterns of dysfunction and get stuck in Fear Traps, getting exhausted, and frustrated and more angry and stuck. This can feel like walking on egg shells, and get increasingly more dangerous. If this is happening to you, I can help you build a safety plan, to shift this experience, show you how to work with it all.